I studied Catholic Theology as an undergrad, thinking this would answer all my questions (and explain my upbringing by a dad who joked about what he’d do if he were Pope!) At midlife, I write in search of understanding rather than answers. I’d rather live in the Mystery than deconstruct it. But I want a foundational, orienting touchstone to return to again and again lest I stray into the inflations of too much spirit or the despair of too much ego, defense mechanisms and brain science. Spiritual health and well-being form that touchstone. TT addresses current social issues from that base. Continue reading →
Like most of us, I fret about what’s ‘good enough’ far too often, and it costs me confidence and creativity. I can get rigidly addicted to the idea of how my efforts should turn out. Then I fail to give something deep and rich and from my heart and mind. I still can be fearful of giving a talk (even when I was invited by a warm, eager audience!) lest I forget my speech, make a poor word choice, speak too fast, and so on. But I’m getting too old to fear my imperfection! And I’m learning that although we live in intolerant times (both on the Right and the Left), being authentic is essential or I’ll never take any risks.
Last holiday season, I made my Dad a very imperfect tabletop Nativity creche. He had just the people and animals, and the Baby Jesus, but no little barn for them. I had, serendipitously, collected small pieces of tree bark over the summer, and got an idea. I knew I could never do a perfect job, and was making this for a man who built our family home from scratch. Having his spirit but not his skills, I had to give myself permission to enjoy the project. And without the burden of my ego running the project, I really did have a lovely time, hours of it, at my workbench. I hope you enjoy my video! And I hope you give yourself permission to create from your heart.
By happenstance, I’m alone today and tomorrow, Christmas Eve and Day. Last time this happened was half my lifetime ago, when I was just 24 and enduring a rough patch. That holiday was spent in unwelcome solitude, in a Minnesota winter with its usual awful cold. But it was not, in the end, an awful time. Continue reading →
So Neil and Pegi Young are divorced after 36 years, and he and Daryl Hannah are a couple. I only just heard, being no fan of People and Yahoo schlock. The news knocked down one more of my pedestal erected to Marriages That Last. Since I was 15, when I fantasized of marrying him to be his Cinnamon Girl/Maid and all-around muse, I took songs like “Harvest Moon” deeply to heart. Today I heard someone joke that perhaps we ought to nix that one and look for something like “A Man Needs A (Mer)Maid.” Continue reading →
Bullies fear those who show the tenderness that also lives in the bully, but in secret. The vulnerable, sensitive child scares the bully and makes him or her uncomfortable, because being around that child reminds the bully of what he hates within himself. He learned to hate any sign of tenderness, of need or hunger for dignity and love. When the bully sees it in another person, she wants to banish that person to prevent being reminded. This is the psychological defense mechanism of projection, and it is unconscious. Continue reading →